[Source unknown]

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland today after the entire country
laughed itself to death. The alarm was first raised at around 4pm on
Sunday as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle
ventured north in to Scotland only to find houses full of dead people
gathered around television sets that were still blaring.

As RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that
the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal failure.

Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went
into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with
huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of lager. They seemed
to be at peace." He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man
face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round
his knees. "It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to
the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from
my friend Ian in Stirling at about 3:40PM "He was already laughing
when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most
vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very
quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England
border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a
deep fried bunch of flowers.

[Source unknown]